Ten Things I NEVER Want to Experience as a Mother

This week's Writer's Workshop brought to you by Mama Kat.  Visit her page to join in!
My Choice: Create a reverse bucket list that names the top ten things you never want to do.
(Inspired by The Hairpin)

Ten Things I NEVER Want to Experience as a Mother

(from funny to frightening)

1. Fishing a small object from a child's nose.

Whether it's a pea, a rock or a small piece of sponge (like in the case of my brother (around 1981) who stuffed an chunk of a McDonald's Grimace sponge up one nostril and had to have it surgically removed because it began to grow to his nasal cavity), going up the nose with tweezers does not sound enjoyable.

2.  Cleaning vomit from car seats.

Crossing my fingers that I did not just jinx myself.  Some say it is a right of passage in motherhood.  I just hope to never cross that bridge. Especially on a long car ride.

3.  Digging through a diaper for a small, swallowed object.

Again, hoping I did not curse myself. Having been the unfortunate collector of a baby's stool sample, that is as close to fecal matter as I want to get.  Thankful to be almost to the end of the "I want to put everything in my mouth phase".

4.  Sitting down on a pee soaked couch/bed/chair.

Sorry, that's happened before. A few times.

5.   Being "That" Mom.

Hoping I do not embarrass my children (and myself) by being over protective/too involved/under-involved/behind the times/too conservative/etc.....

6.   Receiving a call to report to the Principal's office for a child's bad behavior.

Maybe it's wishful thinking that I feel I'm raising good boys.  I hope they continue down the path of respect, manners, obedience and become the gentlemen I know they can be.  If not, I may be calling Maury Povich for an intervention.

7.   Watching my children lose their innocence too soon.

I pray each day that God continue to protect my boys from the scary things in this world. For now, I am resting peacefully in their little, safe bubble.

8.  Having to give tough love too often.

It's very effective, yes.  As my boys age, I wish they never get themselves into situations where I have to allow them to deal with the potentially terrible consequences of bad decision making. 

9.  Losing my child in a large crowd.

Instant panic.  (And then an instant spanking upon their safe return.)

10. Losing my child.

I'm no different than most mothers.  My thoughts and prayers go to mothers (and fathers) who have lost little ones.  My heart cannot imagine the pain and grief.